Credit crunch bank robberies

I guess these desperate times cause desperate actions, as the last few weeks must have created the funniest spate of bank robberies ever seen.

First, there was the Russian Sumo wrestler who wrestled an ATM out of the wall ...

March 9th - Total Pro Sports

You always wondered why these sumo wrestlers gained all that weight and became the size of an elephant. Why would they need to be that big?  Why would they need to be so strong? Why not create a lightweight division?  Well now we know.

 In Moscow, an enormous man that is thought to be a sumo wrestler yanked out an ATM cash machine that weighed 200 pounds, put it up on his shoulders and took off with it on his shoulders. The cash machine was said to have over 25,000 roubles in it.

But here's the kicker: the sumo wrestler and the machine were found by police after they stopped a 'BMW with tinted windows' that didn't even have license plates. What kind of BMW fits a sumo wrestler and a cash machine? What kind of moron tries to pull off such a heist in a car without license plates?

Then you have Kung Fool Sohn Kang-min of South Korea ...

March 18th - Romanian Times

A hapless bank robber was floored when he took a pensioner hostage during a raid - an expert at deadly Taekwondo.

Black belt Park Hyung-tae, 69, decked knife wielding Sohn Kang-min, 28, instantly at the bank in Miryang, South Korea, and was then blasted with tear gas spray by the teller.

As he staggered out the door, the branch manager hit his head with a baseball bat sending him reeling into the arms of delivery man who wrestled him to the ground until police arrived.

But surely, the St Patrick's Day gang win the Darwin Award ...

March 18th - the Times

A leprechaun bank robber and his getaway driver were killed in a shootout with police after a St Patrick’s Day raid in Tennessee. Police said that the same man had held up a bank in Nashville three days before Christmas — dressed as Santa Claus.

Bradley Webb, a witness to the leprechaun raid, said: “He had a long black cape or dress on, a fake black beard; probably a 2½ foot leprechaun hat.”  The robber then held up the First State Bank with a gun and ran out to his getaway car, a silver Toyota Corolla.

The police chased the suspects to a field outside town where the duo ditched their car and fled on foot, leaving the leprechaun hat on the back seat.  As they ran, they turned and shot at pursuing officers, who returned fire.

Last night police identified the leprechaun as David Cotton, 20, and his getaway driver as Jonathan Skinner, a student at Western Kentucky University.

The preliminary investigation suggested that Mr Skinner was shot by police but that the leprechaun killed himself.

Oh yea, Skinner ... no relation ... but the leprechaun? That's another matter

from The Financial Services Club, Mar. 22, 2010